In a few days, our birth mom and baby will have been gone for
4 months. I have learned more in these past four months than I have during the
entire adoption journey.
In my heart, this
little boy was meant to be my son. I miss him every day and imagine what my
life would be like today if he was here. I fell in love with him the first time
I held the sonogram. I cried listening to his heartbeat; he was strong! I
prayed daily for his health and for the strength of his birth mom. I love his
birth mom and I will carry them both for the rest of my life.
I imagine him in Heaven running
down the streets of gold. In my dreams, I see my Pappaw holding him and
bouncing him on his knee. More than anything, I hope as I walk into
Heaven he is the second face I see. (I want to see Christ first.) As I am
waiting for the day that I meet him face to face, I pray that God entrusts me
with another baby to raise.
I have learned that I am strong.
I can handle all that comes my way but I cannot do it by myself. I am very
blessed to have amazing family, friends, and co-workers that have carried me
through these past four months.
I also realized that if I want a
miracle in my life, I cannot tell God how it is going to happen. When I first
told God that I would go through another adoption, I gave Him a list of
demands. Every one of my demands was met in this adoption journey. I know now,
that if I am praying for a miracle, I cannot tell God how it will happen.
Every day, God reminds me of how
amazing He is when I see Hannah’s sweet face. I know that there is a miracle on
the way. I might have to wait many years, but until then, I will continue to
walk hand in hand with Christ as I continue on this journey!
My Sweet Miracle
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